The Dream Angels Newsletter

Follower Alert - New BLOG address

2010-09-23T21:28:00.001-05:00

This BLOG will remain as an archive. However, all new posts will be taking place at: http://thebearthinstitute.memberlodge.com/TheBEarthInstituteBLOG

There is a link back to this archive BLOG from the main BLOG so if you ever need to look up any past posts it will be easy to do from there.

How Do You Celebrate Your Thanks?

2009-11-25T09:08:00.000-06:00

If your family has a story to share about how you share your
thankfulness for the earth please share - I would love to be inspired by
you all - I know so many of you and you already inspire me. I will be
reading the stories you send to my children this Thanksgiving.

One of our stories is below...

I'll share something very personal with you - in the past five years we
"almost" became homeless twice. It is amazing how quickly it can happen
to someone and how hard it can be to find help. I was fortunate enough,
in both circumstances to be saved - literally at the last moment - by a
blessing. However, these experiences, combined with living overseas for
16 years and seeing the face of poverty in different countries - have
made poverty issues one of my main concerns (along with the environment
and empowering people to heal themselves). We give thanks every day that
we have a home, good food, clothing, and even some extras like pets and
an Ipod. At the same time I am shocked by the state of people in America
- how easy it is for credit card companies and banks to "rob" hard
working Americans, how easy it is to lose a job and how hard it is to
earn enough to pay for all the family needs - and how easy it would be
for anyone to slip from the blessed ones who have a home and job into
the crowds of those who don't - it is very easy and can happen in an
instant.

I remember last year my son asked me "Mom, if they charge so much for
gas, why don't gas stations look like palaces? Why are they so small and
not very good?"

That statement says so much. WOW. It is symbolic of how so many big
businesses focus on earning rather than on being fair. Although there
has been a slight rise in worker owned businesses
(http://www.ncba.coop/abcoop_work.cfm). Every day I try to remind myself
and my children not to function like that. But it is so hard. We are
ingrained, from childhood, and trained by ads and by alluring magazines
and displays at stores to always "want more". We are trying, as a family
to think differently. We already have everything we need. Really. We
have a home, food, clothing and plenty of books and toys. Logically,
then, we should be distributing our extra instead of making Christmas
lists of "what we want". It is a hard habit to break, but I feel it is
worth the effort. If we can all try to distribute more and consume less,
I imagine that it might reduce the poverty of a great number of people -
some of these people may even be our friends and relatives. Every time I
am tempted to purchase that $5.00 "extra" at the store I think - what
could someone else do with this money?

That is why, this Thanksgiving, we will be volunteering at a homeless
shelter instead of preparing a lavish feast. Now, don't get me wrong -
if we had a large family nearby or a gathering to travel to that was
close enough to travel to - we would be there - the gathering of family
is an amazingly important event and honorable and great tradition to
hold. However, we are unable to travel this year so, it being only I and
the three children, we feel the energy and food would be better shared
with others.

A friend of mine, who is a teacher, also sent me a wonderful curriculum
plan she is using with her class. I will be adapting it to our own needs
- basically just using some ideas from it but
not all. You can find it at:
http://www.beadforlife.org/docs/BFL_CurriculumFNL_BW_72.pdf

If anyone else has resources or thoughts to share on this topic I would
love to hear them.

My children and I look forward to hearing other stories on how you all
share your thankfulness. There are so many different ways!

Blessings & Health,
Kristie
www.Earthschooling.com
www.TheAvicennaInstitute.com
www.HerbnHome.com

Learning to Live with Different Temperaments

2009-09-25T14:31:00.003-05:00

I had just finished with the Live Chat today for www.Earthschooling.com (Live Chats) and went to take my dog for a walk when I realized - how my experience with my dear puppy was such a good model for how we can learn to get along with people of other temperaments.

To understand this you have to understand a little about my background with dogs. I like to pet other people's dogs but I don't like them to lick me and I don't really like dogs that much (well until this year). I always said I was a "cat person" - for 40 years I believed this. I have five cats. I love cats. I don't want a dog. I think they are slobbery, silly and messy. I am allergic to dogs. They are bad for me. They take too much commitment. But then my son wanted one. He wanted one for five years. So finally I decided he was old enough to get a dog.

So why did I decide to do something out of my comfort level? Well, first of all, I didn't know enough about dogs to know I would actually be taking care of it when he was busy but ultimately I agreed because I love my son. So this is the first step in accepting new people and new things into our lives - love.

But how did I then get to this last step where I am completely accepting and loving of this creature and thankful for it as well? I even enjoy it!

The first step was not easy. My son wanted to stay overnight with a friend and the dog missed him. Another time my son was gone and the dog needed her walk. Both times it looked at me with those "puppy dog" eyes and I realized that it was dependent on me and that it had needs as a living creature. No matter how much I didn't want to walk the dog or let it sleep near me at night I had to do this - out of compassion. So compassion became the second step. It is so much easier to accept people and animals when we can look at them with compassion - not with a sense of anger, duty, being upset or annoyance - but compassion. When we can look at another living creature with compassion and not focus on "what they did to us" or "what we don't like" or "what is wrong with them" our heart's open to new experiences.

As I said this first step was not easy. I allowed the dog to sleep with me the first night and I woke up with a horrible allergy attack and could hardly breathe for two days. I took the dog for a walk but I didn't get my work done that day because I had not planned on the walk. And it was hot. I don't like the heat. But there were nice things too. I realized how fun it was to wake up and see these adoring eyes looking back at me - that mothering part of me appreciated that look - one that I've missed since my babies have grown into young adults. And the walk was good. I love nature and I had to admit that I have not been very good at getting out on those walks I keep "meaning to take". So when my son went on a vacation for the summer to see relatives for three weeks I decided to keep the dog with me instead of putting it with a babysitter for a few weeks. Why? Was this compassion again. Partially. But it was also me trying to save money, and feeling a sense of duty to this animal I had taken responsibility for. These reasons were not as noble as compassion but this is another part of step two - if noble reasons do not motivate - life will bring you other reasons and you can choose to complain about or embrace those reasons.

What I am saying is that life brings us what we need. I needed that dog and if I was not going to completely accept it out of compassion and love life would kick in a little bit more motivation. In this case it was funding and duty. Do you ever find yourself being "forced" into situations you don't want because of financial reasons or duty? Do you find yourself resenting this? Perhaps, embracing it would lead to the place you need to be more quickly. In my case I decided to embrace it. I was "stuck with" this dog so I mapped out my plan and did what I "had to do". I allowed it to sleep with me, but not near my face. My allergies got better and after a few days I didn't have any bad episodes again and it was awfully nice to have that adorable dog to keep me company when my kids were gone for three weeks. I think that is one place we bonded :)

I decided we would walk every day at 11am and go outside every day at 6pm. I started to look forward to the walks. I am the kind of person who loves to walk but I never took enough of them because I always like to have a "goal" for my walks (collecting herbs, walking to the store, walking with kids, etc...). Macee provided me with that goal each day. After two weeks I also noticed another change. I had lost ten pounds. I had been trying to lose that ten pounds for a year but never managed to keep it off and had not put it on the top of my priority list as I was "not that much" overweight. But I did feel better without that extra weight!

Two months later I've lost 17 pounds and I love my walks with Macee. We talk and play and see deer on the nature trail. The sunshine and the trees are beautiful and I love being motivated to take walks every day. If I try to skip them she comes to me every day at 11am and reminds me. I adore her and love to notice when she is happy (her tail is straight up) and am sad when she is not happy (like when her tail goes down if we pass scary dogs or traffic). I secretly miss sleeping with her and enjoy that she naps in my office every day as I work. I love her and completely adore her. When did this happen?

I think about this - here is a creature that is bad for me - I am allergic to her and I really took on too much responsibility when I purchased her - time-wise and financially. I didn't even like dogs and for the past month I've had to spend money and time trying to get rid of fleas...so there are all these negative things. But, by being able to find the positive parts of our relationship, by opening up my heart to the gift she is (how else would I have gotten out for walks every day for the past three months - nothing else worked so far) I am able to accept her and love her and completely overlook (not focus on) the negatives.

When we can learn to do that with people that are different from us - when we realize the gifts they offer us and can look beyond the negatives - this is when we can start to get along better with people of different temperaments. It goes beyond understanding the different temperaments or "accepting them" or even learning "how to work with them" or learning about them. We must completely embrace them.

Addictions as the Norm

2009-06-26T12:53:00.003-05:00

I was thinking about addictions this week. I had a live healing/consulting session online with some clients about the topic of addictions this week. I had a reminder discussion with my son about addictions and with all that thinking I started to realize how much addictions have become part of our daily normal lives.

I see updates on Facebook saying "I am having such a craving for..." or "I have GOT to get that new...." or "I can't wait for the next episode of..." I even posted one a few weeks ago. I was "dying" to see the next episode of LOST. We seem to take pride in our addictions and in some ways they have become acceptable. I hear the phrase a lot 'I am so addicted to...." and then we all laugh because we all have our "addictions". Right?

Or does it have to be that way? How normal is this or have we just been brainwashed into thinking it is OK? Is it OK to joke about addictions and talk about them as normal and funny? I am starting to wonder after musing on the topic this week.

I am constantly monitoring my "addictions". Not for any noble reasons, but since I have been a child it has bothered me and felt a little "creepy" that someone else or something else was controlling my mind. I guess I was just born that way. I was never attracted to alcohol or drugs because the way they controlled me scared me. I used to turn off television programs ten minutes before the end because I wanted to show "them" that I didn't care what the end was (LOL). But still I find myself bombarded by temptations, invitations to become addicted to the next wonderful thing.

Why does a child want to continue playing a video game? Because there is always one more level to complete. Why do you want to ignore what you are doing and finish watching the TV show? Because there is an ending you want to see and then there is more next week because they never quite finish the story. Why do we want to buy certain foods? Because they contain sugar, MSG or other addictive substances. It is appalling the way that addiction has become an acceptable direct marketing tool. In fact, if you read some business magazines they actually suggest that you try to "hook" your clients, or "offer them something that fulfills a need on an ongoing basis" or "create a need". It is all about creating this "need". People "need" to watch that next episode, complete that next level, eat that food again, fulfill the craving for Starbucks coffee with MSG or Pizza Hut Pizza with MSG, people "need" to buy more of those special vitamins or scientific herbal formulas because they are scared our body will collapse if they don't, they need those prescription meds, they "need" to smoke that next cigarette, they need to drink that next drink, they need to take that next "hit"...uh can you see where this is going?

In our house the red flag waves if someone says "I HAVE to do that". Do you really feel you have to? Is it becoming compulsive? Do we want to encourage our children to be addicted to things?

When my children were little I was always "keeping an eye out" for this. When they became old enough to understand (9-12 years old) I explained to them how to look out for it on their own. Everything is marketed to us based on addiction. The goal of movies, TV shows, games, foods, fast food restaurants, online sites, etc...are to get us addicted. As long as you realize this and maintain control over your own behaviour you can avoid the addiction and enjoy the wonderful offerings that are out there for all of us.

So how can you define an addiction?

It is defined by Webester's dictionary as, "being abnormally tolerant to and dependent on something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming." You can be addicted to behaviors, people, situations, feelings, drugs, alcohol, TV, anything.

So how can you tell if you are becoming addicted?

1. The first sign around our house is if someone says, "I HAVE to do that" or they throw a tantrum or become otherwise unreasonable when asking (demanding) an item or activity or something. Do you find yourself or a child saying that or feeling that? Then it is time to try #2.

2. A good addiction test is to stop doing something for a week and see how you feel. If you can't go without it for a week then you are addicted. In fact, this is such a good measure of addiction that I periodically take breaks from things myself and have my children take breaks from certain activities or foods to monitor how they are dealing with that input in their lives. If you are addicted then you will feel a loss, a pulling or a strong desire for this item during the week. You may not even be able to function without it.

3. If your desire for the item, feeling, person, or activity overtakes your ability to function with family and friends. If you are unable to meet the needs of your family, children, spouse or friends or maintain healthy relationships with them because of the activity then you are addicted. However, most people who are addicted to things don't recognize this symptom at all. This symptom can only be defined by those around you. If someone close to you says "Will you stop.....all the time" or "It seems like you are addicted to...." then you might want to check out the possibility that you are addicted. Beause most likely you would not know how strongly it is effecting those around you.

Just some food for thought...but not the kind with MSG or sugar ;)

Blessings & Health,
Kristie
www.TheDreamAngels.com

Being Super Woman

2009-04-04T14:29:00.002-05:00

Sometimes people ask me "How do you find time to do all that you do?" The interesting thing about that question is that I am often wondering that about the person who asked! I wonder that about so many people. And then I wonder...did they, perhaps, just stumble upon the same "method" that I did?

I don't actually set out to accomplish anything each day. In fact I'm not a very competitive person, I don't have a lot of faith in grades, test taking or any other methods that involve measuring success. I don't even feel very motivated some days. So how do I get anything done - LOL?

It comes from years of observing what works with me and what does not, years of meditating on what I am "meant to do" and what I feel at peace doing. Years of failed attempts in various projects and years of knocking on closed doors only to realize the windows were open the entire time. Basically, years of observing what I was doing to slow down my efficiency, my joy and my harmony in life.

Over time I started to ask myself what I really wanted from life. What is it that I really want? Simply put I want to give and receive love. I want to contribute in a positive way to my own life and those of others. I started realizing that there were some things that were "assistants" in this process and some things that were "road blocks" to this process. Here are some of the observations I made. I would also love to hear about the road blocks and assistants in your life.

Road Blocks

1. Competition. I would see what another person was doing and feel I could do better in some way OR, in many cases a person would indicate they were directly competing with me or they felt I was competition in some way. It was easy to get drawn into this. I would spend hours trying to be "better" or hours trying to convince someone I was not competing with them or...basically, I would spend hours following paths that were not my own. When I learned to focus and spend less time focusing on the outside I became happier, more efficient, and more true to my own heart and path.

One example is in business. I know there are many people working in the world of Waldorf, homeschooling, herbal healing, photography and other areas that I work in. Some professional business models insist that you need to "know what the competition is doing". However, I find it healthier to not even see these other people as competition and just let everyone "do their thing". If everyone focuses on what they are good at and they are able to bring their own unique contribution to the world, instead of worrying about being the best or doing something better or copying others, then what will come through will be of the best quality and everyone will benefit.

Another example is motherhood. The more I focus inward, instead of on the outward accomplishments of another mother, the better I am able to function for my own family.

2. Knocking on Closed Doors. So many times in my life I stood at a closed door knocking and knocking, looking for other ways to open it, trying to force it open, trying to pick the lock...you know what I mean! Then one day, I slowly started to realize that the windows were open the entire time.

One good example of this is when I moved overseas and was far away from my favorite Waldorf school. I spent days dreaming about how to get back, fantasizing about my husband losing his job, all sorts of things just to get me back to that school. Then I realized that all I needed to do was start my own school. 40 families of amazing friends and four years later I was more than sad to leave this group of wonderful people. However, at that time I realized that it would be an opening to something else wonderful. I left my heart open to possibilities and realized that leaving my full-time school opened me up to doing full time work with my online school instead of the part-time work I had been doing with it for years. And I love the work I am doing now so it turned out beautifully!

3. Trying to fit in. That was a struggle for me that I thought was done and gone in High School, but during my early adult years I realized that this struggle only ends when you declare it ends. I spent some of my early adult years trying to "fit into" different communities. Trying to be the perfect LLL mama, trying to be the ideal Waldorf mama, trying to be the ideal "compound wife" who attends teas and has a lively social life, trying to be the ideal mom who enrolls her child in the "right" extracurricular activities, trying to go to the fun events that everyone was raving about....

It was a slow process that started to happen more than 20 years ago...but at this point I am finally in a place where I have no problem at all telling people that I don't want to do something or go somewhere if it is not something I enjoy. If someone thinks I am "odd" I simply don't care. I've taken a great liking to the word "eccentric" :) However, what really happened was that over many years of doing it "both ways" I realized that it didn't matter if I did them "my way" or "their way" - people still responded to me the same way, people were still people.

4. I could go on and on. Perhaps on a different day I would even include three different ones. Those are the three that come to the top today. Perhaps I will add more later but I don't like long BLOG posts!

Assistants

1. Giving up my vision of what is "ideal". For many years I measured myself and what I did against a "fantasy" vision of what everything "should" be like. We all have these fantasy visions. Is there someone in your life you admire that you try to emulate? Is there a Tv show or movie that inspired you and you want to be more like the main character? Is there a book that you find useful? Many people find that some new age or self-help books can be really motivating and inspiring. Sometimes these books, movies and people can be a wonderful boost for us and can really help push us in the right direction or add some energy where we previously felt uninspired.

However, when these visions become what we see more than our own lives, it can take over and become a road block instead of an assistant. Now, I make more of an effort to keep all those inspiring people, books and movies in their place. I focus on appreciating them and who THEY are, and not on how I can be more like them. I try to use that inspiration to teach me that I can also be wonderful and amazing like THEY are. THEY did it by following their hearts and I can too.

2. Intuition. When I was a child I used to play "mind reading" with a friend of mine. We would try to "read" each others minds and we actually had a lot of success. We WERE best friends, after all - it was easy to make a connection.

When I was a child and planned my day I completely based it on what I wanted to do, what I felt was right.

However, that quickly starts to fade away the first time a parent says "you should" or a teacher gives you a "B" grade on a paper.

It does not help that adult society labels everything. We have "doctors" and "experts" and "self-help" books. Everything we see around us tells us that we are not fit to help ourselves - we need to make sure to consult an expert.

As an adult you need to learn to trust your intuition again. It is a slow process but the way you start is by noticing the times you made poor choices and the times you felt really good about your choices. How did you feel BEFORE each of these choices? Keep a diary. Over a few weeks a pattern will emerge. Some "professional" psychics and intuitives share that they feel a "glowing feeling" in their solar plexus (gut) area when a feeling is based on intuition. Is that perhaps where "I had a gut feeling" comes from?

For me, it is more than a "gut" feeling. For me, when I have an intuitive feeling about something I feel almost a cold breeze on my face, like someone has opened up all the doors and walls around me. When I am making a poor decision I feel like I am being closed in on by walls or someone is suffocating me with a big blanket.

When I do consulting with people for homeschooling or health I try to help them to trust their own intuition more. About 80% of the people who come to me for help already know what they need. It is amazing how amazing we all are and how much we know. We are just scared, for some reason, to admit it.

The more you are willing to admit how much you know (and be completely comfortable with what you do not know) the more open your life becomes. At the same time you also need to be open to always learning more and realizing that what you "know" can change. Be open to what others have to say about what you do - listen with an open mind and always be willing to learn more, know more, or be better at what you are doing. Be open to being confident in what you "know" about yourself, your health, life in general, but at the same time realize that none of us really "know" anything! But then that is another topic...

3. Trading fear & duty for love & inspiration. It seems a lot of what we tend to do as people is motivated by fear. Even being aware of this I STILL find it sneaking in the "back door" of my life without realizing it! It is a sneaky nasty little thing! So what does this mean?

If my spouse or partner tells me they want me to do something for them or they tell me they are unhappy with me in some way I can change for them or make an effort for them out of FEAR (my end goal being to please them so they are not unhappy with me, or my end goal being they will be angry if I don't) or I can make an effort for them out of LOVE (my end goal being simply to make them happy because I love them).

Another example is with what we purchase. I can purchase a certain toothpaste because of LOVE (I love the taste and have found, from experience that the ingredients really help me) or I can purchase out of FEAR (the ads say this one is new and improved and I fear not using the latest advanced products, or I fear that if I use one that is not like this it will hurt me in some way).

Or what about how we raise our kids? I was having a discussion with a friend the other day about what movies we let our kids watch.; After we both wrote long paragraphs about why we made the decisions we did I realized that we were both being motivated by fear - she was scared that her kids would learn the things she did as a child and be exposed to horrible things she felt were inappropriate in her childhood. From my end, I feared that my children would be too sheltered as I was and then go out when they were 16 and make all these discoveries on their own when it was much more dangerous (like I did LOL). So we were making these decisions based on FEAR, not LOVE. Another friend I know consults a website that tells her if films are good or bad based on language, etc...etc...some classic and well done movies are on the "bad" list.

So what if we made these decisions on movies based on LOVE and intuition? Did we feel love when we watched the movie? Would we LOVE to share this with our child?

Once you become aware of this you will be amazed at how many decisions you make out of fear. I was certainly amazed! When I started tracking myself it seemed like about 90% of my decisions were fear-based. WOW.

So I would love to hear from others - what are your "road blocks" and "assistants"? What helps you to be more of who you are and to find that place of peace and harmony in your life?

For when you find an hour, a day or a week of that peace, any moments of that peace and harmony you can harness - it becomes like one of those scenes from the movies where Superman changes into his cape or when Wonder Woman puts on that ring - in those moments you are transformed and you have superpowers too.

Blessings & Health,
Kristie

Thank You Note Meditation

2009-03-01T19:35:00.003-06:00

Dear Blog Followers,

I know I post "few and far between" but I appreciate you following my thoughts. Remember, if you would like updates on www.TheDreamAngels.com please visit the site to see the new changes we have made there - we have added a local Des Moines page and I have added more contact information on the site under "Contact". I post most often to Facebook, Twitter, HerbnHome BLOG, EarthSchooling BLOG and my online lists herbnhome@yahoogroups and waldorfschoolonline@yahoogroups.com. I reserve this BLOG for inspirational and contemplative thoughts I want to share with everyone.

Now, finally, the BLOG post!

I remember when I was a child I used to think writing thank you notes was a chore. As a teenager I thought it was a tradition that dated back to days of "formality" between people. As an adult I lost track of making sure I wrote thank you notes for everything. I would write them now and then, I would write them when I was inspired. I would say thank you. But it was only when I realized the real medatative worth and the depth that thank you notes have that I became a "thank you note" fan.

* Note - I am talking about hand-written thank you notes - not e-mail thank you's or E-cards.

Here are some of the things that made me a fan:

1. We often don't realize how good our life is or how thankful we are unless we take time to reflect on that daily. A daily meditation is good, and taking the time to write a thank you note is a good meditation for those who prefer active meditations. To write a thank you note you must first find the paper, choose a note or make a hand-made card, find a place to write, think about what you want to write, and then write about what you are thankful for. This entire process causes you to meditate on this positive thing that has happened in your life (be it a physical, emotional or spiritual gift).

2. In today's world children often don't realize how lucky they are. Having dishwashers, TVs, computers and hot running water have all become commonplace in the American household. Many items we purchase are disposible (even if they are recycled they are still being disposed of in some way), and and sometimes, if something breaks we have to buy a new one. I recently took an electronic iriscope to the repair shop. They informed me that nobody could repair it because there were too many small wires in the cord. This can make children develop an attitude of "just buy a new one" or "there is more of that where this one came from" or "this is not good enough...give me more." Writing thank you notes is a good way to allow children the experience of reflecting on what they have been given in life. By taking the time to write a note they are recognizing and reflecting on the effort, thought and cost that went into their gift.

3. Writing thank you notes can also be an RAOK (Random Act of Kindness). How about writing a thank you note to the person who served you well at the cafe? Or to the Sunday School teacher who volunteer's their time each week? Or to someone who inspires you? Or to a friend who took care of your child when you were ill? Many people are surprised and cheered by such small notes. They are so rare in today's world that they mean even more than they used to.

Sit down right now and think of one person you could write a thank you note to. Make a promise to yourself that you will send it out this week in the mail.

Blessings & Health,
Kristie

The Little Things

2008-12-14T13:19:00.002-06:00

This year holiday time is tight. We usually end up celebrating a number of holidays in December because we have friends and families from different religions. This usually means that there are gifts to be purchased for all, gifts to be wrapped, cookies to bake and dinners to make.

However, this year, with the economy being so poor it became very apparent to me how much everything was costing. Sugar cookies and frosting cost almost $20.00 in butter and other ingredients, a tree costs $40.00, Turkey's cost $20.00, the meal costs about $45.00. Gingerbread houses cost $35.00, gifts, even at $5.00 a person were going to add up fast. And that was not even counting at least one gift for each child.

I had to cut somewhere. First we decided we would make gifts for everyone we knew this year. They would actually be much nicer than something we could buy anyway. Some family members are now getting gifts that would be posted on ETSY for about $75.00, which is a lot better than a cheap $5.00 gift from China that does not even support the economy. The kids have all agreed to accept the fact they will only get one small additional gift (not made by me) this year and we made sure to re-gift/deliver a lot of things we didn't want to Goodwill and other charities before the holidays so things we did not use so other people would be able to enjoy. Altogether we delivered 26 boxes of things - most of them in great or new condition.

It is interesting, because when you give away things your space and your house seems new - things around you that were buried reveal themselves and it almost seems like you received a gift yourself :)

Of course just being together is the best gift a person can have this holiday season. And the time we are spending together decorating and making things and baking is the main thing that makes this holiday special. However, gift giving is such a big part of the holidays, so that part was a challenge.

Gift giving can turn into a really big commercial me-athon. But gift giving can also be a lesson in giving and what role and function that has in a society. It can be a lesson in patience (waiting to open boxes) and can be a lesson in hope (hoping for things as gifts). Gifting is a sacred cultural practice (can you tell I majored in Anthropology) that needs to be

But the big lesson I learned this holiday season with gifts is that it is the little things that count. When I looked at our budget I had to fit a lot of things into a little money. The decision to let each child have only one small gift, was made because I realized, as I tried to cut other things from the budget that it is actually the "little things" that count more than the big gifts.

The most interesting item we decided to spend money on was wrapping paper. I have old bits of leftover wrapping paper from last year and I even have some that are in solid colors that will work for any holiday. I have tissue paper and we can always make wrapping paper. For me, I figured that was an easy $10-$15.00 I could save. Don't buy wrapping paper.

I was wrong. The children were crushed at the idea of not wrapping things in pretty paper they had chosen themselves. They found such joy in the idea of unwrapping things that Sunii even said he was going to wrap some old cereal boxes so it looked like we had more gifts under the tree and that he "really liked unwrapping things". Really. He was not just "being nice". The kids were really excited about the wrapping paper. So we went out shopping and each child was able to choose two kinds of wrapping paper - big tubes of sparkly decorated holiday themed paper-soon-to-be-recycled. I also chose one tube myself.

When I told them they would only each get one gift this year they seemed to understand "how things were" and were "ok". When I mentioned not getting wrapping paper they were very upset.

So we arrived home. Five tubes of wrapping paper. We wrapped the gifts we had, Sunii wrapped his cereal boxes, we wrapped some of the items we had made for people and there was such JOY in the house - just because of the colors and excitement of the wrapping paper (and thank goodness I had an entire package of bows from last year :).

It was a lesson to me. Sometimes when we think things are bad it only takes a small thing to change it. I thought that making things better would be impossible and that we would just be "making do". But my kids taught me that even a small gesture can make us feel special.

And we decided to do gingerbread houses instead of sugar cookies this year. Shhhh...don't tell anyone but I was sort of tired of sugar cookies anyway - whew! Glad I had an excuse not to make any this year :)

Happy Holidays!

I Don't Judge People

2008-11-21T09:06:00.002-06:00

I don't judge people.

yah....riiiiiight ;)

I think we all wish we could be capable of saying that statement. But nobody I know is. Including myself. It is a constant struggle within all of us. We dislike being judged by others. It often feels unfair and we know it is unfair to judge others. So why can't we stop? Why do we continually find ourselves judging others? While at the same time we complain about being judged ourselves?

I see many reasons within myself that may be common to others as well...

1. Sometimes we don't realize we are judging others. The other day I was talking with my children about how it would be better if people who owned big companies would share their money more and pay their employees more money. I was judging their choices in how they run their business. A few days later my son started telling me how movie stars should not live in such big houses. I recognized the "judging" then and also realized where he had learned it from. So we decided to do a little practice in understanding. We started with the premise that not all move stars are hoarding their money. Many are very generous with it. We talked about how if you are famous it would be hard to actually be able to attend a gym or go to a public pool and how it might actually be more necessary to have one in your home. I shared my experience living in a protected community overseas - how we had all the luxury items we needed, but we still felt a bit imprisoned at times. My son and I led ourselves through the spectrum...from judging to compassion. And I was reminded - just because it seems like "fair game" does not mean that it is. Even famous people and Hollywood stars have a right to be understood and not judged.

2. Everyone is doing it. Have you watched the news lately? Back in the "old days" when I studied journalism at Northwestern there was a mantra of "objectivity". That seems to have changed a lot since I was in college. Now, it seems, every news station has an opinion and a lot of the newscasting is spent judging a person's actions, The presidential election was a great example. It became so commonplace to judge the candidates that we all started doing it: "He should not have said that", "why did he do that?" etc...etc...It is hard to get a perspective on judging others when you are surrounded by television, media and other people who are doing it. Without even realizing it we become used to the "culture of judging" and have a hard time realizing we are even doing it anymore.

3. We have a need to validate ourselves. One of the most common reason I see for people judging others is that they feel more validated themselves by saying it. So by saying "My neighbor is making really bad parenting decisions" we can make ourselves feel like better parents. By saying, "why does she eat that junk food?" we make ourselves feel like we are eating better food.

Every time we are questioning someone else's behaviour we are judging them. It is hard to stop. I know. I am stopping myself quite frequently and then, after I stop myself I think, "wow, why does my mind keep doing this?"

The short answer is "because our minds are programmed to do this". However, there are practices you can create in your own life to reduce the frequency of the times you find yourself judging others. If you have any practices you use please post them to the comments section and share with others. Here are some of the things that I do:

1. Realize that I am not objective. We often think we are being objective or fair in our judgment. We say things and assume that because we are being "objective" or "fair" that it is OK to judge. When we really take a look at how nonobjective we are we tend to judge people less. I will give you an example from my own life...

Last week I was busy all day packing things for charity and spending time on the phone coordinating pick-ups, etc...I don't always do this so it was unusual for me to spend 100% of my time in giving-mode. Later in the day I asked my roommate to do me a favor that would have taken ten minutes. When they refused I felt upset and I asked them (in a judging manner) 'Why don't you feel you have ten minutes to help out?" Later, upon apologizing and discussing it I realized that on any other day of the week I would not have thought twice about it but because I had spent all day in "giving mode", someone who didn't want to give ten minutes seemed very stingy to me that day! Realizing I over-reacted because of my own circumstances that day was helpful.

2. Realize that I am not qualified. We often make the mistake of thinking we are "qualified" to judge others. You would think that people like single mothers would understand each other and stick together or that people who lost their jobs would understand each other and stick together, etc..However, it constantly amazes me that it is those that are LIKE US in some way that we judge the most harshly. My favorite example is the "sleep scenario". We have all experienced this at some time, especially if we are the primary caregiver.

Someone will approach us (husband, coworker, etc..) and will complain that they didn't get enough sleep. Logically, they are thinking we might have some sympathy for them or they are seeking compassion. It is more likely they will get a glare from us as we quietly (or not) think to ourselves "geesh...I survived the past five years with a toddler and baby on no sleep...and YOU are complaining about not getting one night of sleep?" It took me a few years to realize that there are actually some people who need more sleep than I do - LOL! I can be "tired" and not get enough sleep but it does not effect me as deeply as it does other people. It is not healthy for me and I try to avoid skimping on sleep, but if it does happen I can still make it through the day and function pretty well and get beyond it. However, there are actually people who cannot function at all, feel ill, become disoriented and have major health problems if they miss out on just one hour of sleep. Some people even develop sleep apnea.

So...realizing that I am not really qualified to judge someone else helped me to be more compassionate when someone complained, for example, about not getting enough sleep.

Then I started to realize how unqualified I was on many other fronts as well. Just because I was a single mom didn't mean that I had the same experience that everyone else did. Just because I was divorced did not mean that I had the same experience that someone else did in their divorce...the list can go on and on.

So any time you find yourself saying "Well I did that! Why can't they deal with it?" - stop and think...did you really do that? Look at their life exactly as it is...the number of kids they have, their childhood and life history, their education, their experience in the work force, their age, their past traumas, their current financial situation, how much help they get from friends, how many friends they have, etc...etc...is your situation REALLY similar to theirs or does it just appear that way?

3. I don't have all the information. This is the biggest thing missing when we judge people. We judge them based on the information we have. But what about the information we don't have? Here are some examples:

Perhaps you are wondering why "Dolly" is going to the movies so often but she does not have enough money to feed her children? Perhaps you don't know that she received a gift book of movie tickets from her aunt.

Perhaps you are wondering why someone is spending time going out when they didn't yet return your phone call. Perhaps they didn't have any time to spend with their family that week and they are putting their family first (as they should...he he he I am judging here).

Perhaps you are wondering why someone didn't respond to your e-mail. Perhaps they had an illness or the e-mail never arrived.

I try to make an effort before I judge or get upset, to get all of the information. When my kids appear to be doing something "wrong" I ask them about it first:

"What is happening? Tell me about it."

When someone upsets me or makes me angry I ask about what they said first,

"Can you repeat what you said or explain it to me? I understood ____________ and want to make sure I understand correctly."

When someone ignores me, does not answer e-mails or phone messages I first of all realize that they may be very overwhelmed or busy but I also send them a note saying , "Hi...I am in no hurry...but I just wanted to make sure you got my message?"

4. We do not have that person's world view. I have a "friend" who often "takes advantage of people" - at least from my world viewpoint she does. However, after years of knowing her I have come to realize that she does not realize what she is doing. She is following the examples that she was raised with and thinks that these are acceptable ways to deal with people. In fact, she has an entire circle of friends that function in the same way. I do not agree and thus our friendship has become more of an aquaintance. However, at the same time I don't go out of my way to talk about her to others or to judge her and make an issue about it. I just choose to see that her view of the world is different and for some mysterious reason that works in "her world". Sometimes we get angry or talk about people or judge them harshly because we percieve them doing "bad" things on purpose. However, sometimes they are just being themselves and that is the way they are. So one step in helping us reach a more compassionate place is to realize that not everything that is done is "personally against us" or "done with awareness". It is a lot easier for me to feel compassion for someone when I realize that what they are doing is part of who they are and it is what makes their contribution to this earth different than mine. I may not agree and I may not "get it" but I am certainly not qualified to judge if their contribution is less valuable than mine.

5. There are two sides to every issue. I used to get upset with a friend of mine who was starting his own business because it seemed like he was playing a lot and not really taking it seriously. I felt he was just "goofing off'. Then when he complained about not having work I was not very sympathetic. Months later I realized that his business skills were just different than mine. While I have a lot of energy and am able to provide people with information and inspiration very quickly and on a regular basis - sometimes my work may have spelling or grammar errors or a video clip may have a blip in in. People who appreciate the other unique qualities in my work and the low prices don't mind. However, there are other people who would appreciate my friend's skills more. His skill is one of meticulousness. He has 100 ideas and many of them may never see the light of day (which still makes me sad) but when one of those ideas comes to light it is done with such perfection that people enjoy, not only his work, but the smooth and professional quality it has. This is a perfect example of where I judged someone way too harshly. In reality they could have come back and judged my inspired, budget-wise and energetic way of working as "sloppy".

This brings me to the last point...

6. Change the words we use. My friend is not slow and lazy in his work he is METICULOUS and CAREFUL. I am not sloppy and careless. I am INSPIRED and FOCUSED ON COMMUNICATION and HELPING and being there for people when they need me instead of making them wait for weeks. I also don't have enough money to hire an editor and would have to double or triple my prices if I did. My daughter is not SPOILED - she simply knows what she wants and knows how to ask for it. My son is not BORING he simply has the skill to focus on one activity (rather than a lot of them) for a long period of time. We could go on and on...but the point is, when we choose to see the positive side of what someone is doing rather than the negative side, it helps us relate better. For there IS a positive side to everything. If we can teach ourselves to focus on that we can also understand better what each person's skills are and what they can contribute to our lives.

I look forward to hearing ways in which you are all dealing with this same issue.

My goal is to have more compassion and less "judging". I have experienced people judging me harshly so many times. I know how badly it feels. Since I am in the public eye and so much information is online about me, people often think they have enough information to say, "Wow! Why did she do (or say) THAT???" My wish is that people would write to me and say "why" if they have a problem instead of assuming they know why or thinking something bad. I am a good person with good intentions and make great efforts to do what I think is best for everyone in every action I take.

The more we see this in the rest of the world, the more compassionate we can be towards everyone.

Blessings & Health,
Kristie
www.TheDreamAngels.com

Heal Someone to Heal Yourself

2008-11-20T18:10:00.003-06:00

The other day I was feeling "invisible". You know that feeling you get when you post to an e-mail list and nobody answers you or when you offer something to someone and they don't say thank you or you just cooked a big meal and everyone ate but didn't really notice the effort you put into it? I don't "require" that everyone thank me for everything - LOL! However, I find that there are "vortex days" when nobody responds to anything. On those days a person can feel very invisible. Sometimes even one thank you can make everything a person did that day seem significant - even if the thank you was for only one of those things. I have talked about this with a number of people and it seems this is a world-wide phenomenon and many people experience this same issue.

Of course there is the whole issue of ego. That is the first thing that comes up in these conversations. "Oh, it is just my ego needing to be petted. I shouldn't cater to my ego so much." This angle is valid in many ways. If we were all able to tame that ego we would not even need validation. So one angle to work on is to increase our faith and lessen our need to feed our ego - the ego that demands we get validation for our worth - the ego that needs to feel worthy. Instead, focus on the being within us that knows we are worthy because we have faith that we are useful and siginficant in some way.

However, a second way to view this is "WHY?"

After having a few of these conversations and realizing how universal the problem was it occured to me that perhaps there was a reason we all felt like that from time to time. Perhaps it was not because we always need to tame our ego, perhaps it was not all about "me" at all...perhaps it was a gentle reminder that I also have a responsibility to give this acknowledgement and feedback to other people on this earth.

Of course, I try to do this on a daily basis. When someone sends something to a list that I enjoy I respond, but sometimes I am busy and I can't. When someone writes to me on Facebook I write a thank you back. But sometimes I forget. And so on...

So last week when this "invisible vortex" hit me, instead of looking inward, I looked outward. I was powerless to heal myself. Beyond trying to do "ego meditations" I could not do much about the lack of "attention" my poor deprived ego (LOL) was getting. But I could help someone else who was perhaps feeling the same way. So I went through my inbox and responded to all those waiting messages. Some only needed a "thank you" or a "wow that was great" one-word response. It seemed like such an endless task when I set them aside for "later" a week ago. But sitting there, I realized that if I were to receive just one e-mail of that sort that evening, it would have the power to change my mood. Suddenly an "endless task" was transformed into a number of significant actions.

After responding to those e-mails I sent out some notes to friends I had been "meaning to write to" for a while. Then I took out my "To Do" list and looked at some of the things I had been planning to do...send a donated CD to someone who was waiting, upload a document for a friend (who was not waiting, but I did tell her that when I ran across it I would upload it), respond to a client who's appointment was not for three more days...but thought she might appreciate an early letter...and so on...I even called some friends. I am not much of a phone person (I don't use the phone unless I have to) so they usually end up calling me (and I do the e-mailing) but I thought they might be surprised if I actually made the effort to call them for once instead of writing to them.

By the end of four hours I felt so wonderful! I didn't need someone to thank me to know I had made a difference that evening. I simply KNEW. I knew, because I knew how I was feeling at that moment and I knew that someone else would be needing the same thing I did right now.

Then I took the thought a bit father...what if every time we were sad or ill or feeling deprived we tried to focus on healing someone else instead of ourselves? As a healer I am already aware of the power that healing has - it goes both ways - but it never occured to me to use that "power" for my benefit. I always saw it as a "nice side effect of healing work." So what if one was to start using that power, not only for others but for themselves...on purpose?

I was already doing this in my shopping (my motto - "My business may go through hard times now and then but if I use my sparse money to buy from other small businesses perhaps I can help save THEM at least") but what about taking it farther?

So I looked around at what I needed to heal in my life. I was feeling financially stressed so I decided to heal that I would give away a lot of things I did not need. I was feeling tired so I decided to make some chamomile tea for my daughter...and we had a tea party. Even today I am still finding things I can do. And these actions are having incredible healing effects on me - even more than I imagined.

And discovering...that in focusing my healing outward, I can heal, not only myself, but someone else too.

As a healer I have spent my entire life healing people in different ways, but when I did that it was all about THEM. My focus was on healing and nurturing them. I have noticed and appreciated that I also benefit from my healing work. However, this idea I am "trying out" now is something new. It involves the same actions I have always done (healing, giving, saying thank you , etc...) but for a different reason.

Sometimes when we are the healer, the parent, the mother, the nurturer - we feel like we "need a break" from all the healing or giving we do. Realizing that we can focus this healing in a different way from time to time gives us permission to take care of ourselves, but to still keep on giving.

The practice then, is not to turn all of a person's giving into a way to heal themselves, or to turn all self-healing into giving, but just to present a different idea, that you can perhaps use from time to time. There is no "law" that says all giving must be self-less and the way to heal yourself is not always to focus on yourself.

Happy healing!

I Wish I Had...

2008-09-12T17:10:00.003-05:00

Do you ever wish you had something you don't have?

Gottcha! That was a rhetorical question! Of course. We all do.

I wanted to share with you how I sometimes find those things in my life. Because sometimes we actually HAVE what we wished for and we just don't know it. Sound unbelievable? How could I be so dense that I am not seeing I have what I wish for? Read on...

I have been envying every playhouse I saw since the kids were 3 (they are 9-13 right now). When they had a drawing for playhouses at the local mall I put our names in. I talked to a friend about helping me build one, I shopped around for playhouses to purchase and I even purchased a book on how to build your own playhouse. Then one day I looked out of my window and I saw my child and her friend - 9 and 10 years old - playing in our Gazebo which they have made into a playhouse and I realized - I have something better! The Gazebo allows them to be outdoors AND in their house, they can't grow out of it because it fits adults as well as children, I can visit them in their playhouse and when they say "look at the great house we made today" I can actually step in and visit. I am just realizing that my obsession with having a playhouse has blinded me to the joy and wonder of the gazebo I have. It took the creative energies of a 9-year-old girl and her friend to open my eyes up to the possibilities.

I wish I had a large garden to feed our family. I could have one but I didn't take the time to create a large garden this year. So it WAS a choice I made. But I still wish I had one. However, the past month we have been busy wildcrafting in our yard and on the nature trail near our house and I realized that the amount of harvest we have readily available to us is quite large and what makes it even better is that we didn't have to do any work at all to get it - we didn't plant anything or weed any garden or make any effort at all. All we did was let our yard grow wild, and take walks on the nature trail and so far our harvest this year has included: grapes, blackberries, mint, garlic, apples, elderberries (for cooking into syrup), raspberries, echinacea, various decorative flowers, burr oak acorns for crafting and much more. As I looked at this abundance of harvest on our kitchen counter this week I realized that we DO have a garden to feed our family. It just came in a different costume.

That happens frequently. Often I will wish for something and wonder why my wishes are not coming true...only to realize later that they HAVE come true...I just didn't SEE them because I had an image in my head instead of an idea.

Take a few moments to look at your "wish" list right now. How many things on that list do you already have? To figure this out look to the IDEA and the REASONS behind your wish list instead of the image.

Why did I want a playhouse? So the kids can have a space of their own to play "house" and to have clubs and club meetings and invite friends over to. I did not really want the IMAGE of the pink-painted custom-roof ruffly-curtains playhouse I was dreaming of. I wanted the idea.

Why did I want a garden? Because I love the idea of the children being connected to nature in that way and seeing how nature can nurture us and we can live off the land and to be able to enjoy natural foods from around us. I did not really want the IMAGE of a square garden with a fence and nice rows of carrots. I wanted the idea.

Please take time to share if you discover anything in your own life.

And take time every few weeks to go through this exercise. Learning to LOOK for these things has helped me immensely in my life.

Blessings & Health,

Kristie

http://www.thedreamangels.com/

Loons across the Universe

2008-03-27T08:51:00.006-05:00

The wonderful thing about connections between people is they do not have a mileage limit, and you don't have to pay for the gasoline either! I am sure a lot of military families are feeling this "connection" right now. If there is someone far away that you are missing - know that this connection IS there, you may just need to be silent for a moment and listen for it, or look for the little signs. This is a funny story that illustrates those connections...

Four weeks ago I picked up my daughter from the Science Center where her friend had a birthday party. As usual, she wanted to visit the science store and see what her closely guarded $5.00 could buy. I didn't mind. The Science store often had fun items to look at. So we browsed around. There were many items for under $5.00 so I started to get bored way before Sofi did and started looking at everything I had not looked at during my first run through. Then I felt a pull towards this rack of Audubon Society bird-call birds. It could have just been the sale sign that "pulled" me, you never know :) But what happened after that was very interesting.

I started looking at the birds and thinking how I should purchase some of them for our family. I love toys and items that involve bird calls - I enjoy walking through the nature trails and being able to identify the birds by their calls. We have a large book at home that has 123 bird calls in it but I was thinking to have such a wonderful visual would be nice as well. So I started to sift through the birds but I was not inspired until I came upon a baby loon.

All of a sudden it was like my mind completely shifted and was "taken over" by a new idea. I don't know where the idea came from. I thought "Emily and Josh would like these baby loons. I will buy them and send them to Emily and Josh. They probably miss their loons at the lake."

Emily and Josh are kids who used to be students in my Waldorf Enrichment School when we lived overseas. We are friends with their family and we visit their cabin every year in Michigan and enjoy their company and the loons on the lake. My daughter, who is overseas living with her dad right now, goes to school again with Emily again this year.

So the loons were purchased with me still shaking my head thinking why am I doing this? I don't have extra money to spend on every little gift I want to buy for everyone. They are dear to my heart but I don't usually send gifts overseas and why didn't I buy the birds I wanted? And Emily and Josh probably have so many loon things already! Why would they even want loons? I am so silly!

The loons were shipped off in a box a few days later to my daughter.

Three weeks later I heard the following story:

One morning Emily and Mosi were talking in school. The big news for Emily that day was that "her" loons at the lake had had babies! She was very excited and spoke as if she wished she were there and could see them.

Two hours later Mosi went home for lunch, found the package I had sent and brought the gift for Emily and Josh to her. When she opened up imagine the surprise! Wasn't she just wishing she could see "her" baby loons?

Expectations and Energies

2008-03-11T08:35:00.004-05:00

One of the most useful things I learned as a mother was when a Waldorf teacher said to me, "a lot of our anger or frustration towards our children comes from false expectations of what they are capable of" Over the years this knowledge helped me to become a better mother. But it has also helped me realize how, in life itself, expectations can often be our "downfall".

We are often well-equipped to deal with expected traumas and trials but when we are hit by something "unexpected" we lash out and ask the world "why?" - Why am I being treated this way? Why did this person do this to me? Why is this person acting like this???

Last week I had to laugh at myself when I was caught in a situation where I exposed my weakness to this principle. A month ago I contacted someone with the best intentions, as the moderator of an e-mail list, suggesting that they modify their post. I was trying to prevent someone else from being hurt by their words and I felt my e-mail to them was very diplomatic.

However, their response was very negative. They questioned many things about me and my e-mail and it upset me very much that they responded to me in that way. I spoke to my friends about it and my reaction was filled with phrases like, "Why didn't she take my e-mail in a more positive way?" , "How could she attack me like that?" and "I am so hurt".

What made me laugh was that a few days ago I posted a video to the Internet that I was almost sure would contain something to offend some people. I did not intend to offend anyone but I did realize that the topic I had "tackled" was a bit of a touchy subject for some people so I was open to my e-mail box being filled the next day with angry mail. I would not have minded if fifty people wrote to me and said I was awful. As it was, nobody wrote any mean letters to me.

I sat staring at my e-mail box the next day shaking my head and wondering, "Why are people not over-reacting? Why don't I have any angry e-mails? Will they be coming tomorrow?"

Then I started laughing! This was the same desk and same position I had been in three weeks ago when I asked a different question, "Why is this person over-reacting? Why did she send an angry e-mail?"

Why is it that sometimes, then, we are open for feedback and sometimes we are not? Why are we happy to listen to some feedback and others we are upset by? Why do we feel attacked at times and other times we are happy to "be attacked"? Expectations. It is an awareness that can heal many areas of our life.

The Blessing of Abby the Cat

2008-01-19T15:09:00.000-06:00

I always chat with my kids a bit before I put them to bed for the night. I sing them a little song and tuck them in. A few nights ago Suni surprised me by sharing "I am glad you didn't let them kill Abby." I didn't know what he was talking about at first. We have had Abby for almost a year. Who was going to kill her?

Then he reminded me, "You know those people who took her to the vet?" And I remembered the story. I am glad too. She has been such a blessing to the family. What happened was a little more than a year ago I took my two kittens to the vet to have them "fixed". As I was waiting to pick them up I spotted this gorgeous persian-looking cat in a cage held by a very sad owner. I couldn't resist asking "What is wrong with her?"

It turns out she was not getting along very well with the dog and she was "peeing" everywhere and they thought it was a medical problem but they had tried everything and they didn't know what to do anymore. It was so horrible and the decision had been so hard but they had finally decided to have her put down. She was to die that day.

As is typical of me, I didn't think before talking, I simply went on the energy of my intuition. "Can I have her?" I said. The owner had a glint of happiness then it quickly faded. They went on to explain to me about all the trouble she would be and did I know what I was getting into?

I said that I did (although I didn't really) and I happily took her home.

Abby started out in my son's room as a way of easing her into the rest of the house but as time went on a few things became obvious in her personality:

1. She prefered to be without other animals.
2. She prefererd to be in small safe places instead of outside or the whole house.
3. She was very territorial and didn't like it when Suni left things on the floor or in her way.

Well, it took her about 7 months to train Suni to keep his door shut, keep the other pets out, and keep the floor clean, but now she is a happy cat and no longer pees anywhere and is the most charming sweet cat you could ever imagine. When you pet her she purrs like no other cat I have ever heard. She is so soft you just want to melt into her when she sits on your lap. Her temperament is sweet with children and adults and even strangers (but not other pets) and every night when Suni goes to bed she follows him up the ladder and snuggles in next to him.

I am as happy that we found her as she is! Abby has taught us that pets have emotional needs as much as humans do and as long as we honor her needs she is the perfect pet!

Being Lonely as an Illusion

2008-01-09T15:09:00.000-06:00

I received this in my inbox a week ago from www.dailyom.com and have been wanting to share it ever since! It is just lovely and inspiring!

An Incomplete Understanding
Feeling Lonely

We all have days when we feel lonely, but the very idea of loneliness comes from the false notion that we are separate and isolated parts in a world filled with other separate, isolated parts. In truth, we can no more be separate from our world than a fish can be separate from the water in which it swims. When we really begin to look at the boundaries we see as so solid, they prove to be, in fact, quite porous. For example, it is not clear exactly where our skin ends and the air begins when we consider how our skin is affected by changes in the quality of the air. When it is dry, our skin becomes dry, and when it is humid, our skin becomes moist and supple.

By the same token, it is difficult sometimes to distinguish the boundary between one person and another, especially when our actions tie us together so inextricably. Every move we make has an effect that touches all the people around us. On an even more subtle level, when we share space with another person, we often pick up on their energy, feeling how they feel and attuning to them, whether we mean to or not. This is what we mean when we say a mood or a feeling is contagious. We cannot help but be part of the realities of the people around us because we take form from the same energetic force, and this force unifies all life. This force is the light that all the great mystics and gurus encourage us to move toward, and it is the light we will dissolve into when we move beyond our individual egos.

If loneliness is a temporary condition based on an incomplete understanding of what we are made of, we can think of its presence as a catalyst for exploring our ideas about reality. We can respond by testing the boundaries we believe separate us from the life within and all around us. If we test them, we will discover that they are not so solid after all and that we can never really be alone.

DailyOM.com

Uncle Joe Inspires me. He is 92!

2007-12-28T23:46:00.000-06:00

This is a video of my friend Steve's Uncle, Joe. He has been teaching piano for 85 years. You will be inspired too!

Make a free ecard - it's easy!

Kids' Inspirational Stories

2007-12-26T20:15:00.000-06:00

My kids had some wonderful inspirational moments during this holiday season. It is always fun to recognize these moments and realize that wishes and dreams DO come true. Not ALWAYS, for there is a wisdom in the universe one can never explain with just one theory... but dreams and wishes come true enough that we keep hope! Here are their stories:

1. Sofi and Suni asked me if they could open just one present early. They said "our friends are". It didn't matter that the three friends they were talking about were going to be out of town on Christmas day and perhaps they had a REASON to open a gift early! But I said No. Christmas is about the spirit of giving and about patience. You can open one gift on Christmas Eve but no earlier than that. Two hours later their Grandfather came from out of town with some gifts. So they had their wish anyway - just not in the way they imagined!

2. A few days later Sofi just couldn't bear it any more. "Can I open just one more?" she asked again. Again, I stood firm. She pressed a bit and was sad, but then went on to play. Literally - 5 minutes later the doorbell rang and it was a friend's mom who was delivering a gift for Sofi from her friend. Once again, a wish is answered.

3. A couple weeks ago I was riding home on a street I had never been on before. I called my son to tell him I would be home soon. He said "could you bring me some ice cream from Dairy Queen?" That is usually not very expensive and a rare treat so I didn't mind the request but I said, "no, there is no Dairy Queen around here. I'll be home in a few moments". About one minute later I passed a Dairy Queen store on the right and was able to turn in and get him some ice cream. He was so surprised! So was I!

Spiritual Letter from Santa Claus

2007-12-14T09:29:00.000-06:00

Truly I was inspired to write this letter. I didn't even think about it. I sat down this morning and it seemed to fly off the page directly from the depths of my mind to the keyboard without any thought inbetween. Perhaps it came because it is needed at this time when my children are questioning who Santa is. I have known for a long time who Santa is, but I have been unable to put it into words until today...

Dear Sofi,

This is from Santa. Not the Santa of the chimneys and reindeer, but the real Santa. I have enjoyed the stories that people have created about me over the years but I think you are old enough now to know the real story. Did you know that in some countries I don't come on Christmas day? I come on St. Nicolas Day and I fill their boots with treats. In America they changed the story to Christmas day and I fill their socks instead of boots. Some people thought it was sort of icky to fill their socks so they created really pretty socks for me to fill.

Did you know that my story started in 280 A.D. When St. Nicholas was a saint? My spirit has existed since before then, but that was when people first started calling me St. Nick. The real Saint Nicholas was greatly inspired by the spirit of giving. He wandered the countryside giving away all his wealth to poorer people. He especially treated children with kindness and helped children who needed money or gifts. After that, many people in Europe, inspired by his name St. Nick, continued to give money and gifts to people in need and to children even after the real Saint Nick was gone. I didn't officially come to America until 1861 when the Dutch brought my celebrations to New York and distributed pictures of what I "looked like". Their name for me was Sinter Klass...which Americans made into Santa Claus. However, as I mentioned before, just because my name did not come to America before 1861, does not mean that I have not always been here. For I am the spirit and angel of giving and charity. This concept is hard for some people to understand.

People have a hard time understanding ideas or spirits or angels because they cannot see them. So to make it easier they sometimes make stories or draw pictures so it is easier to understand. That is the short story of how I, the angel of giving and charity, became known with a name and a face. And that is how you probably know me. I don't really mind. I am known by so many different names and faces that are not the "real" me, but who doesn't like a story? I find the stories very creative and wonderful and since they are each accurate in their own way I don't mind!

My favorite is the one about my riding a sleigh and delivering presents all night. That is accurate in a way, for I never sleep or run out of energy so I could, in theory do that, but I do not need a sleigh to ride.

There are so many angels on the earth that watch over you and protect you and we each have our own job - some protect from accidents, some teach wisdom, some are keepers of history, and we each have done our jobs since the beginning of time and will continue forever to do our jobs for angels never tire and never sleep. We don't really have names but in some books we have given ourselves names to make our stories easier to read. It is hard for humans to understand something that they cannot see and that does not have a name!

You may also be familiar with the angel of awakening childhood (the tooth fairy who guides you across the bridge from childhood to being a young lady or young man as you loose your teeth along the way), or the angel of eternal life who teaches us about the endurance of spirit and the rebirth of the soul during Easter. And what about your guardian angel? Everyone has one of those. Some of the angels don't even have names. They are eagerly awaiting the day when humankind gives THEM names too. It is an honor to be recognized by those we serve and to be given names and stories.

You mom is writing this letter for me and she may or may not remember writing it. That is how it works. I inspire people to do my work through their spirit. Sometimes this may awaken them in the middle of the night to fill a stocking and they may think they were dreaming. Sometimes they are aware of what they are doing and remember doing it. But in both cases I have been able to motivate millions of parents around the world to share my vision. And at some point everyone understands that I am the angel of giving and they also know that they must continue to work for my vision in the ways that children will understand.

I don't know what story your parents shared with you. They are all different - even in little ways. However, I do know, that whatever story your parents told you was one that they thought would touch your heart and prepare you to understand more about giving and charity and joy so that you would be able to carry on my traditions during your life as well.

My vision is that all children feel a sense of wonder and awe at the power of giving. I want people to always feel this spirit within them and to look for ways all year to give and to help others. I am honored that a day was chosen to do this, but I don't want people to forget that we should do this every day.

But since humans have created a day to honor my spirit, I want all children to wake up Christmas morning and to feel so wonderful and filled with joy that they are inspired to share this joy with others. This is my gift to the world. It is simple and yet is so powerful as you can see from what is happening around you this Christmas season.

Please continue to tell my stories. I enjoy them. I sometimes come by and sit by your guardian angel and listen to them. They are beautiful stories that make who I am into pictures instead of spirit. It is almost like when a painter has a dream and then he paints it. He is not really painting the dream, because nobody can really do that, but he has made his dream into a picture. That is what it is like with my stories. Nobody can ever really understand me completely - for you are humans and I am an angel spirit. However, the more stories you create, the closer you come to understanding who and what I am. So please continue creating stories and pictures and please continue my tradition and pass it on to your children. Please know that as your mother was inspired to write this letter one day, you will also be inspired to write a similar letter one day. You may also keep this one and pass it on.

Merry Christmas! Please enjoy the gifts I have sent you through others and please pass these gifts on to the people you love.

- Santa
(Inspired into words by Kristie Burns of http://www.thedreamangels.com/)

Right in Front of You!

2007-11-18T19:27:00.001-06:00

How many times has someone said to you, as a word of encouragement: "Sometimes the solution is right in front of you and you just don't see it" or "sometimes what you are seeking is right there and you just don't see it."

I know this to be true, and have experienced it many times but I have to admit when I am frustrated and somebody says that to me there is a little rebel in my head that responds "yah, I am not blind! If there was a solution or my wish had come true I would notice. I'm not that dense."

But the universe has ways of showing us how wrong we can be sometimes.

The story starts at a silent auction. I purchased a basket at the auction that looked appealing because I like to donate to worthy causes, but also because it had 4 gas cards in it and we all know how expensive gas is! I could see myself finding those very useful! So the next week I went in search of a Casey's gas station. I usually go to the gas station two blocks from my house so I was not really familiar where this particular place was, although I knew I had seen one before.

I thought I recalled seeing one way out on University avenue near the highway - so I drove twenty minutes out there only to find there was none there. Then I thought, well perhaps on Hickman near the Living History Farms. But that turned out to be a store, with a sign similar to Caseys but not a gas station. So I took a different road home and ended up driving another 5 miles or so, down Merle Hay Road towards the Interstate 80 and around until I finally gave up.
I thought to myself, "Well, I will just save those gas cards for a day when we are traveling. I am sure I saw one of those stations on the way to Iowa City..."

They stayed in my purse for a few weeks until one day I was driving down a street that I drive down at least 5 times a week for the past 2 years. I always take this street to bypass University, because that street is so busy. I wound around the road as usual, I glanced at the new car lots on the right, took a look at the Play it Again Sports on the left and then, noticed the stop sign was read so I stopped on 35th St.

And there is was, right in front of me, just as it had been for the past 2 years - Casey's gas station.

Next time someone tells me "the solution might be there, you are just not seeing it." I will be more inclined to be inspired by that statement rather than annoyed.

Are you TOO DEEP?

2007-11-08T21:31:00.000-06:00

Part of living your dreams is simpliflying life and re-gaining the innocent ability we had as children to see the obvious is things. This is a wonderful joke that illustrates how hard we sometimes try to figure out things and how simple they really are. Living your dreams is simple. Just remember "Tonto":

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars.""What that tell you?" asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.

Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?"

"Someone stole the tent."

Astronomy Image of the Day

2007-11-08T21:08:00.001-06:00

To live our dreams we need to realize the one-ness of ourselves with the universe. What better way to be inspired than to learn more about the universe? This wonderful site shows you a DIFFERENT IMAGE EVERY DAY of the universe. It is called:

Astronomy Picture of the Day. Each day a different image or photograph of our fascinating universe is featured, along with a brief explanation written by a professional astronomer. 2007 November 2 Three Nebulae in Narrow Band http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/astropix.html

The Little Things

2007-11-08T14:21:00.000-06:00

I was sent this lovely inspiration by a friend. It helps us to reflect on how the "little things" are not so little as we think. We should live and focus on each moment we live beause these moments are the most important ones in our lives.

The 'L I T T L E ' Things As you might know, the head of a company survived9/11 because his son started kindergarten. Another fellow was alive because it was His turn to bring donuts. One woman was late because herAlarm clock didn't go off in time. One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike Because of an autoaccident. One of themMissed his bus. One spilled food on her clothes and had to take Time to change. One'sCar wouldn't start. One couldn'tGet a taxi. The one that struck me was the manWho put on a new pair of shoes that morning, Took the various means to getto work But before he got there, he developed a blister on his foot. He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid.That is why he is alive today. Now when I am Stuck in traffic, Miss an elevator, Turn back to answer a ringing telephone ...All the little things that annoy me.I think to myself,This is exactly where I should be the Divine is at work watching over you. At this very moment.. Next time your morning seems to beGoing wrong , The children are slow getting dressed,You can't seem to find the car keys,You hit every traffic light,Don't get mad or frustrated;~Richard A. Singer Jr. MA

LESSON: From a Car Accident Yesterday

2007-10-09T13:08:00.000-05:00

Dear Members,

Yesterday I was in the first car accident of my life. I had some injury to my back and neck. They say there are no broken bones but I have to wait a few days to see if the pain and swelling are just muscle stress or something more serious. I am hoping it all just gets better in a few days. Right now I am just able to work very slowly but I am thankful for a lot of things and I wanted to share these with you so you can learn from what happened to me and perhaps have a little time to reflect on the things that you are thankful for today.

I am thankful that...

1. ...The kids were in the backseat. Sometimes I do let the older child sit in front, but if he had been sitting in front he would have rammed his head into the dashboard and not the soft seat in front of him. Note to self - NEVER let even an older child sit in front!

2. ...The kids were wearing their seatbelts. Sometimes they "forget" and I have to remind them. And sometimes I forget to remind them and we go a few blocks before I realize they are not belted in. Note to self: Be 100% diligent about reminding them and don't forget in the future AT ALL!

3. ...I was wearing my seatbelt. I was rammed into very hard from behind. If I had not been wearing my seatbelt I imagine my face would not be too pretty right now.

4. ...That is was not worse. About the only thing I can do today is type a little and sit. So I was reading the paper a bit and there was a story about a lady who was in a similar accident 4 years ago and the spine injuries she sustained cause paralysis. She is looking for donations for a surgery that she needs. I think I will send some money.

5. ...That I was not talking on my cell phone or eating while I was driving. I have to admit (shame on me) that I occassionally did this in the past. Well, I realize if I HAD been doing that last night the accident would have been much worse. I had fast enough reflexes and was focused enough that I stopped before I hit the car in front of me. Of course my car hit him eventually anyway after the car behind me hit ME but the accident would have been much worse if I had not been completely focused on my driving at that moment.

6...That is was rush hour and traffic was slow. I usually hate 73rd street because of the slow traffic. I am learning to appreciate it now.

Wishing you all a safe driving day!

Blessings & Health,
Kristie Karima Burns, MH, ND
www.thedreamangels.com

NETWORK: Tour the USA in a Veggie Powered RV with Sara, Mike and Bella!

2007-10-08T11:17:00.000-05:00

Dear Members,

If you are living your dream in some way please contact us so we can take video of you living your dream and promote your efforts. Take some time to view this great 5 minute video about a family touring the USA in their Veggie Powered RV!

You can link within this e-mail here:

LIVE LIGHTLY TOUR VIDEO

Or you can link in the blog over to the right to instantly play the video from this BLOG.

Enjoy and PASS IT ON! This is inspiring!

Blessings & Health,
Kristie & Steve

GREAT PRODUCT: Burt's Bees Lipcolor

2007-09-26T16:08:00.001-05:00

Remember - I do not accept money for advertising. I just share with you products I have discovered and love and why I love them! I discovered Burt's Bees Lipcolor about a year ago and I will not buy any other lipstick now. This is why:

1. I am not allergic to this product. There are so many products on the market that say they are hypo-allergenic but I have reactions to the chemicals in most lipsticks.

2. The minty feel of it really wakes you up.

3. It does double-duty as a moisturizer, healer AND lipstick.

4. It comes in these really thin tubes so I can fit about 8 colors in a pouch in my purse without taking up much room...when I am on the go I can always find a lip color to fit what I am wearing.

5. The colors last a long time.

Enjoy!

TOP TEN: Reminders to Inspire You

2007-09-26T15:51:00.001-05:00

☼ No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission.
☼ Most people will be about as happy, as they decide to be.
☼ Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.
☼ Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have.
☼ Success stops when you do.
☼ When your ship comes in.... make sure you are willing to unload it.
☼ You will never "have it all together."
☼ Life is a journey...not a destination. Enjoy the trip!
☼ The biggest lie on the planet: "When I get what I want, I will be happy."
☼ The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.

GREAT WEBSITE: Free Hug Campaign

2007-09-26T14:54:00.000-05:00

If you have not see this YOUTUBE video yet you HAVE to see it. I watched it a few times. My daughter watched it 10 times. It is GREAT!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4

QUOTE: Making a Difference

2007-09-26T14:37:00.001-05:00

A young boy on the beach was throwing the washed-up starfish back into the ocean. A stranger passing by told him not to bother, because it would not make any difference, there were thousands of beaches and millions of starfish, and it would not be possible to save all of them. The boy reached down, picked up a starfish, threw it back into the ocean and said, smiling softly, " I made a difference for that one!"

POEM: The Beauty of a Woman

2007-09-26T14:29:00.000-05:00

This is a beautiful poem someone sent me that I think all women should take to heart:

Beauty of a Woman

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,
The figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman Is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman
With passing years -- only grows.

~unknown author and source